First of all if you want to build a community you have to have a set of shared values, rituals and practices. These are, if you like, the nature of the community.I left a comment which I feel is worth reproducing:
I really don’t understand why religious communities are always used as the basis of comparison for atheist communities. Why not… fanfic communities? Sports communities? Japanese-American communities? Makes about as much sense. And then maybe we’ll get a broader idea of what really makes a community.Once you consider other communities besides religious ones, it becomes really obvious that communities don't necessarily have shared values, rituals, or practices. They may not even have shared interests, a shared identity, or shared physical space. All you really need is a bunch of people who are connected to each other somehow. Put it this way, if someone is a stranger but in the same community, it seems easier to connect with them.
I think it is totally okay to feel unconnected with the atheist community, or not want to connect to it. And since it is a completely legitimate feeling that needs no justification, you don't need to make up bullshit excuses for it, like this platonic idealization of religious communities.